How Do You Deal with a Difficult Board Member Without Creating More Conflict?
A practical guide for co-op and condo boards dealing with disruptive directors, former board presidents, and boardroom conflict.
Because a dysfunctional board doesn't just make meetings unpleasant.
It can delay important projects, create tension between neighbors, increase costs, frustrate your property manager, and ultimately affect your building's financial health and property values.
If you've recently joined your board, or if your board has experienced significant turnover after an election, you may find yourself facing an unexpected challenge:
You were elected to move the building forward, but one or two longtime board members seem determined to keep things exactly as they were.
Every suggestion is questioned.
Old decisions are constantly revisited.
Meetings become longer, more emotional, and less productive.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.
The good news is that you don't need to make the situation personal. In fact, the most effective solution has very little to do with personalities.
It has everything to do with governance.
Focus on the Rules, Not the Person
When someone is making board meetings difficult, it's tempting to focus on the individual.
Instead, focus on creating clear expectations that apply to everyone equally.
The strongest boards don't rely on personalities. They rely on structure.
That's where a Board Code of Ethics and Board Code of Conduct can make a significant difference.
Adopt a Board Code of Ethics
A Code of Ethics helps you establish the principles every board member agrees to follow, including:
Acting in the best interest of the building
Maintaining confidentiality
Avoiding conflicts of interest
Respecting board decisions after a vote has been taken
Upholding fiduciary responsibilities
Adopt a Board Code of Conduct
A Code of Conduct helps you establish expectations around behavior, including:
Professional communication
Respectful participation during meetings
Constructive disagreement
Collaboration with fellow board members
Appropriate interactions with residents, vendors, and management
When you adopt these documents, the conversation changes.
Instead of discussing whether someone is being difficult, you can refer back to standards that everyone agreed to follow.
In our experience, these documents often reveal who is committed to working as part of a team and who is not.
Make the Policies Official
If your board doesn't already have these documents in place, consider adopting them at your next board meeting.
Once approved:
Ask every board member to sign them.
Store signed copies in a shared board folder on your Google Drive.
Refer to them consistently whenever issues arise.
The goal is not to target anyone.
The goal is to create accountability for everyone.
Don't Let Important Information Live with One Person
Another common challenge occurs when board records are controlled by a single board member, officer, or even the managing agent.
You should always have access to your building's important information.
A simple cloud-based system such as Google Drive can help you create continuity and transparency.
Consider creating folders for:
Governing documents
Financial records
Meeting minutes
Contracts
Capital projects
Board policies
Code of Ethics
Code of Conduct
When your board owns and controls its information, transitions become easier and institutional knowledge stays with the board.
Give New Board Members a Fast Start
Many board conflicts happen because people are trying to learn on the job.
You may have highly accomplished professionals serving on your board, but co-op and condo governance is a specialized skill.
The faster new board members understand their roles and responsibilities, the more effective your board becomes.
That's why onboarding matters.
At The Folson Group, we created the Folson Board Academy to help board members quickly learn the fundamentals of governance, finances, property management, capital projects, and board leadership.
Our philosophy is simple:
Know It. Run It. Own It.
The more knowledge your board members have, the less time you spend debating process and the more time you spend making smart decisions.
Focus on the Future
You weren't elected to win arguments.
You were elected to protect your building's future.
That means maintaining property values, managing finances responsibly, planning for long-term capital needs, and creating a positive living environment for residents.
Strong boards understand that disagreement is normal.
What matters is having systems in place that allow your board to move forward together.
When governance is strong, personalities become less important.
And when personalities become less important, your board can focus on what matters most: serving the people who elected you.
Free Resources
If you're looking for a place to start, you can download our workbook, which includes sample Board Code of Ethics and Board Code of Conduct templates that you can customize for your building.
Because running a co-op or condo is challenging enough.
Your board shouldn't have to reinvent the wheel.
